StawelLiGht
Rotary Club of Stawell Newsletter :
International Pres: Garry Huang – District Pres: Geoff James
Club Pres: Vaughan Williams – Club Sec: PE Pauline Sherrifs
November 18, 2014
Club Meeting Tuesday 18 November held at the Salvation Army Meeting Room.
Tonight we had our normal meeting followed by our AGM. PE Pauline (Sec) has already published the minutes of the AGM, the following is brief summary of the ‘normal’ meeting.
Pres Vaughan reported briefly on the Avenue of Honour Project., saying that Applications for Grants will be made in March 2015. The tree planting intends to involve all sectors of the community, school kids, Eventide staff/residents, Rate payers, Neighbourhood Watch etc.
PP John L reported on
- the Conoco-Phillips Science Experience noting that he was meeting with the Science teacher and the four students on Wednesday.
- Skene St Chairs – since previous meeting Stawell Regional Health has donated 4 chairs. Have been in contact with Ararat Rotary seeking their support to raise funds for the last 40 or so chairs.
- Students Discovery Tour to Cambodia 2015. Carly and I have had one meeting so far. She is keen to make it a successful tour and would be prepared to lead it if possible.She was to contact her former NGO Morodok in Kompong Som Cambodia to discuss possible and suitable projects for Rotary and the students to look to assist. PP Kim :
- Robin K to follow up David O’Jones re starting Sausage Sizzles at Mitre 10 again.
- I have met with my Ararat Counterpart Glenda McLean who was to report to her Club this Wednessday. She was impressed with what we are proposing.
- has ordered more raffle books;
- Attended with Raquel the Student Exchange Weekend. Very enjoyable.
- Toys for Tots deadline is now Dec 9th. Ages 9-13 need more attention.
- Christmas Hampers to be finalised on 16 December.
- Next weeks meeting will be BBQ at SES. 18/11 now will be Annual General meeting29/11 Sausage Sizzle at Mitre 10 – RK in charge6/12 Woolworths BBQ 10-1.00pm16/12 Christmas Break-up at John Artz –last day for Christmas Hampers – 16 items of same.January 10 2015 : Raquel’s 18th birthday
- Jest in Time <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<,
- 9/12 General Meeting and Last day for Toys for Tots
- 2/12 Board Meeting
- 25/11 meeting will be a BBQ evening at SES Hall
- Next meeting 11/11 – Pres Vaughan’s Planning Meeting
- In the Pipeline >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
- AGM was then held – see Sec Pauline’s minutes.
- Sec Pauline : thank you cards for Rotary Hat Day participants.
At an art auction in Edinburgh, Scotland, a wealthy American lost his wallet containing £20,000 [$45,000]. He announced to the gathering that that he would give a reward of £200 to the person who found it.
From the back of the hall a Scottish voice shouted, ‘I’ll give £250.’
Sheik Abdul Amunkir was admitted to Southampton General Hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his blood in case the need arose. As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn’t be found locally, so, the call went out for help.
Finally a Scotsman, Willie Murdoch was located who had a similar blood type. The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab.
After the surgery, Sheik Abdul sent Willie, as appreciation for giving his blood, a new BMW, diamonds and 10,000 US dollars.
A few days later, once again, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to donate his blood again. After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Quality Street chocolates.
Willie Murdoch was shocked that the Sheik did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned the Arab and asked him, ‘I thought you would be generous again, that you would give me a BMW, diamonds and some money, but you only gave me a thank-you card and a box of Quality Street.’
To this the Arab replied, ‘Aye laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in ma veins.’
»An Englishman, Irishman, Welshman, Scotsman were captured while fighting in a far-off foreign land, and the leader of the captors said, ‘We’re going to line you up in front of a firing squad and shoot you all in turn. But first, you each can make a final wish.’ The Englishman responds, ‘I’d like to hear “God Save The Queen” just one more time to remind me of the auld country, played by the London All Boys Choir. With Morris Dancers Dancing to the tune.’ The Irishman replies, ‘I’d like to hear “Danny Boy” just one more time to remind me of the auld country, sung in the style of Daniel O’Donnell, with Riverdance dancers skipping gaily to the tune.’ The Welshman answers, ‘I’d like to hear “Men Of Harlech” just one more time to remind me of the country, sung as if by the Treorchy Male Voice Choir.’ The Scotsman says quickly, ‘I’d like to be shot first.’ |
- Sign at a Scottish golf course: ‘Members will refrain from picking up lost balls until they have stopped rolling.’
- Do you know the first people in the UK to have double glazing were the Scots?…It was so their bairns couldn’t hear the ice cream vans.
- How many Scotsmen does it take to change a light bulb?…Och! it’s no that dark!
- Have you heard about the lecherous Scotsman who lured a girl up to his attic to see his etchings? …. He sold her four of them.
- A Scotsman took a girl for a romantic ride in his taxi…She was so beautiful he could hardly keep his eye on the meter.
- On the otherhand some words that make us ‘oldies’ think, courtesy Sec Pauline:
An Obituary printed in the London Times….. Absolutely Dead Brilliant! Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
– Knowing when to come in out of the rain; – Why the early bird gets the worm; – Life isn’t always fair; – And maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, -by his parents, Truth and Trust, -by his wife, Discretion, -by his daughter, Responsibility, -and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers; – I Know My Rights – I Want It Now – Someone Else Is To Blame – I’m A Victim – Pay me for Doing Nothing
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.